in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
