if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry about my life...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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