We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize