you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
