Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
