I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
