Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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