Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
