new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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