dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
