How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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