So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
