Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
