Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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