My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Still dying that you shit outside
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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