Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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