A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Two words: nipple clamps
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