Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
