My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
