I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
