Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
