There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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