I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
