ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you never un-have a 4some
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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