Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
