NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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