I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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