i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
40s are totally the cure
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize