The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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