Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
