i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
