Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
