I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
