I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
