you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
