We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
