You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
