So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
