He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize