Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
