the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
