Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
