if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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