Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
