We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize