so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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