You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
