my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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