it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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