So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
