A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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