Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
