I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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