We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
