I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
