So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
