Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
