dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
