so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
