the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
