I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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