So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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