How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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