i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
