wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
