If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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