The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
