FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
