He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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